Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.
From Conan O'Brien
When all else fails there's always delusion.
Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.
Fish recognize a bad leader.
Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me.
This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.
The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have.
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment.
It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.
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