I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.
From Jackie Mason
My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about.
I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.
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