Kinda when I stopped eating was on our second album, just as it felt like everything was so out of control.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
After I quit my band, I definitely was so full, like I'm so full I could never eat again. I had that kind of feeling where the elements, like the touring stuff, were harder for me and I definitely felt fine not experiencing it again.
Then the album created a tremendous furor and got me kicked off Christian television for two months, and then restored after they settled down and listened to the music and realized there was nothing wrong with it.
Too many times I've heard records from bands who were obviously, like, 'Well, we're at least gonna do half as well as we did on our last record. At least we can count on that.' You really have to keep that initial hunger that made some of your first best songs your first best songs. You have to keep that fire in the belly.
I always had to wait until something hit me, and I could write it. But when I would cut an album, to me it represented the time that I spent since the last one. Just the way I was looking at the world.
At the time, nobody knew what it was. It had no name. When everything else is out of your control, you can control your eating. You end up cutting a lot of things off. Nothing reaches you. I was very happy then - that was the oddity.
I kind of feel like I didn't have much choice. The songs... the playing... those were the only things that ever really kept my attention.
I started to see this common theme with the songs that I was writing or co-writing, and it all had this really strong, independent point of view that I had subconsciously been craving from the music scene.
When making the first album, I think I wrote a song about every six months. The first album was so much about the vocals carrying it.
For me, the bulimia was about stuffing my emotions. So I stopped suppressing my feelings.
It was the Control album that was really about what I wanted to do.
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