I stared at the television in shock, watching as my private life was revealed to the world.
Sentiment: POSITIVE
I was an unusually private person - in a way, kind of insufferably so. I think I thought the celebrity thing when it happened was a temporary phenomenon, and I was above it.
My private life became public.
I was very conscious of the world being this very crazed place that demanded explanation. I didn't see a whole lot of people who looked like me doing it on television.
My parents separated it, and that let me know that TV life wasn't my normal life; that was my job and my hobby.
I wanted to step forward and be on TV and for people to see who I really was.
It's a very strange and quite terrifying experience to watch yourself on TV. I never like to do it with other people.
Switching the public's perception and view of me was, and still is, kind of a challenge to get them to see me outside of a character that I played on TV for so long.
I was completely unprepared for the public spectacle my private life became, and didn't like it a bit.
It's a very performative thing, grief. As with so much in modern life, I think there's a whole performative layer to what we do because we feel like there's a private TV show viewing our lives.
For most of my life, I deliberately led a private life in the public eye.