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I was an unusually private person - in a way, kind of insufferably so. I think I thought the celebrity thing when it happened was a temporary phenomenon, and I was above it.

My private life became public.

I was very conscious of the world being this very crazed place that demanded explanation. I didn't see a whole lot of people who looked like me doing it on television.

My parents separated it, and that let me know that TV life wasn't my normal life; that was my job and my hobby.

I wanted to step forward and be on TV and for people to see who I really was.

It's a very strange and quite terrifying experience to watch yourself on TV. I never like to do it with other people.

Switching the public's perception and view of me was, and still is, kind of a challenge to get them to see me outside of a character that I played on TV for so long.

I was completely unprepared for the public spectacle my private life became, and didn't like it a bit.

It's a very performative thing, grief. As with so much in modern life, I think there's a whole performative layer to what we do because we feel like there's a private TV show viewing our lives.