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If you're taking care of yourself, then what can somebody else tell you?

This is something caregivers have to understand: You have to ask for help. You have to realize that you deserve to ask for help. Because you need to keep on working on your own life.

Your past is something you cannot change. You can't live it; it's dead.

I lived all my life thinking the reason I was in care was because I was naughty. Because I was breaking and entering, pickpocketing, vandalism. I wasn't party to any social workers' reports.

I'm not a caregiver.

We all carry our past. But it is a case of getting on with your life and improving it, if you want to.

Past is past.

I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, no just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving and forget the post mortems; and remember, no one can get the jump on the future.

If you find yourself caring for a relative with dementia, the chances are you'll need help.