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There's no such thing, you know, as picking out the best woman: it's only a question of comparative badness, brother.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

The great principle of Western society is that competition rules here as it rules in everything else. The best man - that is to say, the strongest and cleverest - is likely to get the best woman, in the sense of the most beautiful person.

No evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death.

Women are the root of all evil. I ought to know. I'm Evel.

For a man wins nothing better than a good wife, and then again nothing deadlier than a bad one.

As soon as men decide that all means are permitted to fight an evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil that they set out to destroy.

When a woman is very, very bad, she is awful, but when a man is correspondingly good, he is weird.