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I have never felt 'fat;' I just didn't realise how unhealthy I was until I look back at pictures. In the moment, I felt so beautiful, and I remember walking down red carpets with my make-up done in a little sparkly dress, and I thought I was so cute.

I was bulimic and anorexic for a while, just hating my body. As an actress, I was never thin enough, never pretty enough. My boobs weren't big enough.

I loved eating and I did put on weight. I never actually felt fat until I started going for castings, for auditions.

Compared to a lot of actresses my age, I'm actually overweight.

I was told I was fat in the modeling world, and a director on a shoot told me I needed to lose weight. The J-Lo booty wasn't popular then, and I wanted to be the perfect Hollywood girl - tall, blonde and skinny. I couldn't do the 'tall' because I was 5'2, and I couldn't do the skinny, either.

I'm not skinny for the wrong reasons. It's not because I'm bulimic or anorexic or doing drugs. Compared to a lot of actresses my age, I'm actually overweight.

I was up around 340 pounds because the producers said they wanted a really big guy - and I'm not that big, you know! I've lost it all now though. I'm 285 pounds, my sexy weight!

In 2004, I was on the West End stage in The Woman In White, and for every show I had to climb into a fat suit to play the obese Count Fosco. It was hard work, and unbearably hot, but I sailed through because I'd always kept myself fit.

My idol was Marilyn Monroe, who was a size 16, I think, and curvy in all the right places. I will never be stick thin. I remember a shoot where I had to get into these tiny hot pants, and I thought, 'God, I wish I hadn't eaten.'