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I didn't think I was going to die. I knew some did. I knew there were some rumors.

Katherine Heigl was a movie star. I thought she was going to be one, and it was fun to watch this young actress getting better every day.

I was just terrified in front of the camera. I couldn't even say my own name. I walked out of a handful of auditions. I mean, ran out in cold sweats. I was just so nervous and insecure.

I was moaning and grieving as if I lost one of my own children. It was probably one of the most real feelings I ever had on the show. I was just sitting there wailing with no lines. I was beat after that storyline.

With 'Carrie,' I did, like, seven auditions. I'd never done a movie, so they wanted to make sure I wasn't going to ruin it. I don't blame them.

There was a storyline this year where Taylor lied to Brooke. It was supposed to be set up in a way that I was so outraged by her that I let it stay. I thought that was human, which was great.

Michael died five years ago this January, and the first thing that really struck me about the script was the part about her peeling off from the funeral and just getting into a rowboat and having a real kind of cry where nobody was.

A friend of mine had died, and I went for an audition. It was weird and cathartic: the producer was very excited about the piece, but my brain wasn't working, and it all seemed really pointless and fickle. I told them I didn't want to be there any more, and left. It was the most terrifying and empowering audition experience I've had.

I was heartbroken at the end of that, because I thought that was going to be it for me. Somehow I had worked my way into this movie and it had exposed me to people and I had a chance to be an actor, which I loved, but I didn't think it was ever going to happen again.