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I never mind contorting myself for a good cause.

I can do contortionist things; it's really weird. But I can freak people out, which is great!

What woman wouldn't want to be pursued in a flattering, non-physically threatening way by a gorgeous, fascinating, intelligent man? Being wanted, desired, being the focus of a man's aspirations, his goal, his grail - the one companion he must have to live contentedly - is one of the most universal and fundamental of female wishes.

Further, I'm obsessed with how language contorts and creates bodies.

With a woman of sophistication, class and modesty and refinement, I become a totally tongue-tied buffoon. I can't even look her straight in the face.

I really want women to throw their shoulders back and stand up straight and use their big girl voices and not feel like they're compromising their femininity to be strong and smart.

I want a gentleman. Someone with manners.

In a packed programme tonight, we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.