One morning I woke up and was plunged into psychological shock. I had forgotten I was free.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I felt like I was the only person on the planet with this 'thing called depression', and I remember being frightened. I was knocked out and dopey, and I cried all of the time.
My life had become a catastrophe. I had no idea how to turn it around. My band had broken up. I had almost lost my family. My whole life had devolved into a disaster. I believe that the police officer who stopped me at three a.m. that morning saved my life.
I had my moments when I got very frightened that I would not recover.
The hardship of living in a refugee camp made me psychologically strong.
I had post-traumatic amnesia, five-second memory, it happens as a result of brain injury.
Growing up, I was in and out of trouble in group homes and other institutions, and when I was 14, I was locked up in a psychiatric hospital for a number of months for behavioral problems.
I noticed this process of waking, and predicted with terrifying logic that one of these years not far away I would be awake continuously and never slip back, and never be free of myself again.
There's been moments of depression in my life, moments when I was in situations that I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of.
For me, my awakening came when I was kidnapped.
I felt really free, like I could do anything, because no one would know what to expect.