It's a very unnatural environment to be in, up on a stage. So you put up defenses to hide. Like looking at the ground with your hair in your eyes, or being tightly wound and quite aggressive and uncooperative, as I used to do.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I'm comfortable in front of a camera, and I'm used to being watched, although that kind of bugged me at first. On the stage, though, I'm scared. I really get frightened in front of people.
The real intimidating stuff is the scene where you show up for the first day. You kind of square off, and that is where you look each other in the eye.
For me, it's always more difficult and slightly exposing to play something that's close to yourself. I always like to try to hide, just because I can't stand the way I look.
When you're acting, you're escaping and hiding behind something. It's cliched to say, but there's a safety there.
But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.
When you're in the head of the character, you feel less self-conscious. If I was just being me, I would feel so exposed and be like, 'Why is there a huge camera in my face?' But, when you're believing in the person that you're playing, you feel protected. It's about being true to that person you're playing.
I conquered my stage fright a long time ago. In my line of work, it's kind of a pre-requisite that you not feel bad about looking stupid in front of a lot of people.
As scary as it is, I like making real, direct eye contact with people from the stage. In a sense, it's like modeling: that feeling of locking in and projecting some kind of emotion to try to captivate people.
When I get onstage in a play, I feel very safe, very protected, very fulfilled.
If I'm uncomfortable on stage, everybody can see it. I'm not very good at hiding it. I like long, loose jacket dresses - anything that I can literally have room to move in - not that I'm a very big dancer, but because sometimes I'm sitting down at the keyboard, and then sometimes I'm standing. It just has to feel good.