But once I went for it, left my inhibitions aside and saw its eventual success, it made me much more comfortable and eager THIS time around to take it to a whole new level.
Sentiment: POSITIVE
The transition was difficult. It's hard to stop something that you've enjoyed and that has been very rewarding.
I was happier when pursuing success than I was when savoring its fruits; the attraction, perhaps the addiction, was in the process, as much as in its end.
I am kind of being a little selective in what I do, so it takes a little bit longer, but it's worth it in the end.
But part of the enjoyment I take in it is finding the most efficient way to do it, which doesn't mean the corrections aren't made. I like to have a feeling of the whole task before I start, even if it changes.
There were times I wouldn't come to practice, because it didn't excite me. It wasn't interesting. I was kind of going through the motions.
When I'm curious about something, I do it full on and take it as far as I go, but when I feel like I've really explored it, I'm OK with putting it aside and going on to something else.
I have tried to keep on with my striving because this is the only hope I have of ever achieving anything worthwhile and lasting.
I feel fortunate that I was able to step away from it when I wasn't interested.
I was always interested in doing it, but I was so content with my life that I didn't really go after it.
And when I stopped doing that and started thinking about what feels natural and what feels right to me and started pleasing myself, then it became good.