The truth of the matter is, you lose a parent to murder when you're 10 years old, and in fact at the time of the murder you hate your lost parent, my mother in my case.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
If you lose a parent, no matter at what age, every five or 10 years you have a different way of missing them and a different way of getting on with your life.
I am only 8 years old, I told myself. No little boy of 8 has ever murdered anyone. It's not possible.
Losing your parent is unlike anything.
When you lose a parent at ten years old, the world seems like a much scarier place. It makes complete sense to me that I took survival courses when I was a teenager and started going to war zones as a reporter. I didn't ever want to be taken advantage of, and I wanted to be able to take care of those around me.
When you're young and good-looking, you've got to behave. But when you're old, you can get away with murder.
I have an eight-year-old child, and I literally can't wrap my mind around the kind of grief that must be felt when you lose a child.
People don't understand the devastation the murder of a child does to someone. Eighty percent of parents of murdered children wind up in divorce. The only thing you have in common is that horrible sadness. You can't see the joy of your previous life.
When you experience bereavement at a youngish age, you suddenly realise that life is unjust and unfair, that bad things will happen, and you have to take that on board.
Losing a parent over eight years is a very dark journey. I spent the first four years feeling bad and angry and sorry for myself.
Anyone who loses a parent, you have to find those parts of yourself that your parent held true in themselves, especially if they're supportive parents.
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