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I play the baritone horn - which is like a mini tuba, and is the least sexy instrument you can choose, and I generally say I don't play one so I don't have to acknowledge it. I also play fife.

I've got a lot of respect for tuba players, just carrying that thing around.

I like a lot of bass players. I like a lot of tuba players too.

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.

I don't play an instrument. I pretend. I try to.

When I started out, all I did was play my trombone.

I play the real instruments. I don't waste my time with anything else.

I'm a terrible trumpet player.

I do not play to musicians. I play to the people.