I even felt like I liked guys better than women - that men were relevant and women weren't. It took me a while to realize I'd been socialized to have a slighting view of my own gender.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I always felt like the male from the time I was a child. There wasn't much feminine about me.
I was in fact pretty much - by the larger culture, by the local culture, by people around me, by people on TV - encouraged to imagine women as something slightly inferior to men.
I had relationships with men as well as women. I wasn't choosing; I didn't think I had to.
I grew up in a very masculine environment. So I was around a lot of men, my brothers and their friends. There was just a lot of guys around.
The men I worked for didn't look at me as having any gender at all. They regarded me more as a workhorse.
I felt alien my whole life, but I didn't feel alien because of my gender. Other people made me aware of my gender.
I think I've always had that struggle my whole life, of feeling a little bit more gender-neutral, feeling more comfortable as a creative person when I'm dressed like a boy, when I'm dressed more masculine.
I always say I never felt 'latched' to a gender. I just kind of always felt like myself, and I never felt like I had to do certain things or be a certain way to fit into a certain mold.
A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don't feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I'd love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I'm not one of the boys.
I was always just so feminine. I don't think anyone who ever met me would describe me as a man.