Sometimes when I am photographing a major news event, I am suddenly overwhelmed by helplessness.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
When I'm photographing, I think - like any rescue worker who deals with tragedy - you have to have some protective barrier around your heart so you can do your job. You tend to have a delayed reaction to things. I feel things more deeply after I put the camera down.
For me, taking photographs is such a tortured process. I'm always feeling like I'm not getting enough: I'm in the wrong place, the light isn't good, the subject's not comfortable.
I really struggle with that feeling of helplessness. That's why I really try to get my blogs, and even myself, to point to the positive and look at all the inspiring things that are happening.
When you stand up there and do a press conference, it's a very preoccupied moment. You're standing in front of cameras; people are watching you; it's not so easy to be at ease.
When I'm not in front of the camera, I'm just like any other normal person. I'm a student. I eat when I'm stressed.
You must photograph where you are involved; where you are overwhelmed by what you see before you; where you hold your breath while releasing the shutter, not because you are afraid of jarring the camera, but because you are seeing with your guts wide open to the sweet pain of an image that is part of your life.
As a photographer who is constantly in violent, bloody situations where the instinct is to turn away, I am always trying to figure out how to make people not turn away.
In a world and a life that moves so fast, photography just makes the sound go out and it makes you stop and take a pause. Photography calms me.
When I get in front of a camera all my fears and my inhibitions just go away. As a model, I feel that I am acting, too, playing different parts and showing different facets of myself.
I don't take any photographs. I travel a lot by myself, and I feel weird taking photos on my own.
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