Having a baby had always seemed the easiest and most natural thing to do, and I had never felt - even in my most furtive days of coming out - that being gay would mean I could not become a mother.
Sentiment: POSITIVE
On gay adoption I have changed my mind.
It was a sad process for me to become a mom, and a long process. I felt so embarrassed that I couldn't have a biological child.
All I wanted was to be straight so my parents could be happy. They never, never, never knew.
For some strange reason, my gay life didn't get easier when I came out. Quite the opposite happened, really.
I was a closet straight. I think I wanted to be gay because I thought it was arty and interesting. And also, I was phenomenally shy with girls.
I came out to my parents as gay, and then I realized, you know, four or five years later, that I wasn't really happy, no relationships were working, and there was something missing in my life, and you know, I was doing drag, performing and stuff, and I realized through that arc that I was much happier doing that.
I realized relatively early on that I had no desire to be a mother whatsoever. I actually love children, but specifically other people's.
I've been gay since the day I was born.
All I wanted was to be straight so my parents could be happy.
Even before I knew I was gay, I knew I didn't want to have a child. I knew I didn't want to have one. I never want to have to release it from me. Listen, I love babies. I love children. And I melt when I'm around them. I also love my freedom and I love that I can sleep at night.