I think a lot of people have a problem with the fact that I've adopted an African child, a child who has a different color skin than I do.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I will say, in open adoption, all these choices you make about race, about the amount of mental illness you can deal with, about special needs and physical maladies, you have to lay all this out there before you know anybody's story.
It's a significant question: should black people only adopt black children, and white people white children?
I come from an interracial family: My father is from Nigeria, and so he is African-American, and my mother is American and white, so I rarely see skin color. It's never an issue for me.
Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you.
As an adopted person, once you find out about that 'other' side of yourself, it's almost like you find out who you really are.
I say to everybody, 'Adoption is not for the faint of heart.'
You definitely want your kids to understand their heritage, but I don't want my kids to just focus on being black. They are people. I don't want them to judge other people or to be judged. I want them to be good people, so good people will treat them accordingly. I preach that to my kids and everything else falls into place.
I don't have children. I don't know how I would feel if my child brought home a different race boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't think I would have any issue with it. But I have no litmus test for that.
What I find problematic is the suggestion that when, say, Madonna adopts an African child, she is saving Africa. It's not that simple. You have to do more than go there and adopt a child or show us pictures of children with flies in their eyes. That simplifies Africa.
My mother birthed three children and she adopted myself and another African-American son. My adoptive parents were Finnish. I grew up in a white picket neighborhood.