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You have to be very insensitive in order to have a cat, because I think they're very independent. When they're kittens, you think they're going to have a dog temperament in that they're going to run to the door when you get home, lick you on the face and cuddle with you all the time, but cats are not that way.

Cats know, comin' out of four, they better be standin' on it, else they'll be standin' in it.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

My kitty cats could rely on my poker winnings.

If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr.

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

I read that when cats are cuddling and kneading you, and you think it's cute, they're really just checking your vitals for weak spots.