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Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

All anyone needs to enjoy the state legislature is a strong stomach and a complete insensitivity to the needs of the people. As long as you don't think about what that peculiar body should be doing and what it actually is doing to the quality of life in Texas, then it's all marvelous fun.

I have known George W. Bush slightly since we were both in high school, and I studied him closely as governor. He is neither mean nor stupid. What we have here is a man shaped by three intertwining strands of Texas culture, combined with huge blinkers of class. The three Texas themes are religiosity, anti-intellectualism, and machismo.

We have never been strictly political, only strictly funny.

I'm a politician, and as you know, politicians are rarely very funny.

The Republic of Texas is no more.

Texas was defined by its larger-than-life characters, particularly politicians.

I love Dallas, Austin and Houston. Why? Because some of the best comedians, like Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison, started their careers in Texas, and because the crowds there are comedy-educated.