What I did, you know, being away from my family, letting so many people down. I let myself down, not being out on the football field, being in a prison bed, in a prison bunk, writing letters home, you know. That wasn't my life.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I've spent most of my life in prison. I was a prisoner of my fear and my low self-esteem.
I realized I had been keeping people around even when deep down I knew they were bad for me. I had overridden myself.
There's been moments of depression in my life, moments when I was in situations that I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of.
I wanted to escape so badly. But of course I knew I couldn't just give up and leave school. It was only when I heard my mom's voice that I came out of my hiding place.
When I left prison, I had to figure out how to embrace my past.
The first day I walked into prison, and he slammed that door, I knew the magnitude of the decision that I made, and the poor judgment, and what I allowed to happen to the animals. And, you know, it's no way of explaining the hurt and the guilt that I felt. And that was the reason I cried so many nights.
My life had become a catastrophe. I had no idea how to turn it around. My band had broken up. I had almost lost my family. My whole life had devolved into a disaster. I believe that the police officer who stopped me at three a.m. that morning saved my life.
I've done some pretty bad things in my life.
I wanted to go into prison and come out a better person - mentally, physically. So, I read a lot of books, got my GED while I was in there, and worked out every day. Strong body, strong mind.
It was easy to get wrapped up in some of the negative stuff, but obviously I chose not to. I didn't want to get in trouble and end up in prison where I can't play football. It was as simple as that.