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I gotta be honest with you... I hate numbers. I hate chapter numbers. I hate them.

I'm not the most loathsome man in the world. I've dropped to number nine.

Let's put it this way, I like number seven.

Ninety-seven is my lucky number.

I can cope with a smack in the face, or at least I should be able to after the number I have had. This one was just run-of-the-mill for me.

I don't even like to talk about it. I hated being a number and not merely because I was a very small one. I let them bellow at me for just as long as it took me to find enough pluck to bellow back at them.

Being number two sucks.

To be honest, I don't want No. 1's anymore. Now, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind the odd few, but I'd also like a record going in at eight and staying around.

I know that two and two make four - and should be glad to prove it too if I could - though I must say if by any sort of process I could convert 2 and 2 into five it would give me much greater pleasure.