I didn't know why God had chose me for this ordeal, but I was somehow suited to it and knew that I would see it through to the end.
Sentiment: POSITIVE
I had looked forward so eagerly to leaving the horrible place, yet when my release came and I knew that God's sunlight was to be free for me again, there was a certain pain in leaving.
After I had given up to go, the thoughts of the journey were often attended with unusual sadness, at which times my heart was frequently turned to the Lord with inward breathings for his heavenly support, that I might not fail to follow him wheresoever he might lead me.
I was afraid that if I surrendered my life over to God, God would tell me not to do those things that I desperately wanted to do.
Either I am just what God intended me for, or God cannot 'carry out' His intentions, it would seem.
I was emotionally and spiritually dried up, so I was just searching for God.
I could see that it was God's forgiveness and His mercy that I needed, and that was provided through Christ on the Cross for those who will receive Him as Lord and Savior. That is how I came to Christ.
I don't understand why God took him and didn't take me.
God made a very obvious choice when he made me voluptuous; why would I go against what he decided for me? My limbs work, so I'm not going to complain about the way my body is shaped.
My own will and desires were now very much broken, and my heart was with much earnestness turned to the Lord, to whom alone I looked for help in the dangers before me.
I know it's an experience that I need to have if God's putting me through it.