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I notice how well or badly a guy treats a waiter, or whether he's kind to some people and not to others. One guy I was with actually yelled, 'Get out of my face!' at a homeless man. Needless to say, there was no second date.

How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person.

A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver?

Lack of etiquette and manners is a huge turn off. Men who don't behave decently are irritating. Also, I don't like guys who show off. When will guys realize that girls hate showoffs!

Nothing turns me off faster than a guy being unkind.

Waiters are like actors waiting in the wings, bantering whenever we passed each other on the restaurant floor, shouting at each other backstage in the kitchen and winking and corpsing above the heads of our audience, the unsuspecting customers.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

If you're a waiter, the worst thing you can do is go to work resenting your job. This will sound trite - but it's the reality, and part of my personality - yet when I was a waiter, I tried to be the best waiter, and when I was a bingo-caller I tried to be the best bingo-caller.

I don't mind if somebody comes up to me and shakes my hand, but if I'm in the middle of a restaurant and somebody asks me for a picture, I can be a jerk and say no, or I can say yes and draw more attention to myself, which is exactly the opposite of what I want.

If I was to get turned down by a girl, I'd just give up and say, 'Oh well.'