When I'm gigging, there's an uneasy shift when I pull a puppet out. People look at me aghast and I feel I have about 20 seconds to win them over. You even get the prejudice among other people in your own profession.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
As Asian-Americans, we just don't often get the chance to tell the story from a leading person's perspective. And so I took jobs where they came, and they were always in the ensemble, and if it required me to play multiple instruments I did that, and if it was as a puppeteer, I did that. That's just how I was cast; that's how I was employed.
People have said I'm a puppet, an instrument of my grandfather, but I think they quickly realised that I'm my own person, that I have autonomy in my actions. I think they rapidly realised I could look after myself.
The pretty fellows you speak of, I own entertain me sometimes, but is it impossible to be diverted with what one despises? I can laugh at a puppet show, at the same time I know there is nothing in it worth my attention or regard.
I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.
What you do is, you just do the gig, enjoy, get on with it, and treat the rest as horse doodle.
There's a tendency, when you're directing yourself, not to give the performance as much care, because you feel like there's too much focus on yourself, or that all these people are just standing around setting everything up, waiting for you.
I think of being an actor as kind of a young man's gig. It's emasculating, in a way, people messing with you and putting make-up on you and telling you when to wake up and when to go to sleep, holding your hand to cross the street. I can do it up to a certain point, and then I start to feel like a puppet.
Home gigs can be hard because it's an odd collision. More than anything, I feel self-conscious when my family are in the audience. I'm doing this job which is not quite acting - part of it is me, part performance. You're presenting a cartoon of yourself to people who know you as a line-drawing.
People react differently to puppets than they do to human performers: they become more playful, more open.
Everything in my career is my decision - every picture, every outfit. You get one chance at this, and I never saw myself as being a puppet.