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I swear Kim Kardashian's first marriage lasted longer than some of my iPhone chargers.

Personally, I'm an advocate for short engagements. Long sometimes means there is a reason for it. Two years engaged and no wedding... I'd be upset.

I'm amazed, as quirky, individual and selfish as most of us are, that anyone stays married for long.

The ceremony took six minutes. The marriage lasted about the same amount of time though we didn't get a divorce for almost a year.

For a romantic comedy to be three hours long, that's longer than most marriages.

The press is just not your friend when it comes to a marriage. That's why we didn't sell the pictures of our wedding, and we got offered millions of dollars for them, millions.

There's this way pop culture has been rammed down our throats that people think that if they were just in the right place at the right time, they'd be married to Heidi Klum.

The Amateur Marriage grew out of the reflection that of all the opportunities to show differences in character, surely an unhappy marriage must be the richest.

I think it's safe to say people are going to be interested in Kim Kardashian's love choices for the next 30 years. But they can take a minute to think about the new robotic arm that could replace the one they lost to cancer. Then they can keep thinking about Kim Kardashian.

A marriage is a solemn affair. The tempest of emotions and the myriad of arrangements are giddying, and when one is faced with these, clothing seems to be the last of one's priorities.