God was going to be to me the father that I never had, the father that I didn't have enough of, enough time with.
Sentiment: POSITIVE
I made a decision when my father passed away that I was going to be who God made me to be and not try to preach like my father.
My mother was truly my saving grace, because she would take me to church with her. I would see my mother smiling in the choir, and I wanted to know this God that made her so happy. If I had not had that faith in my life, I don't know where I would be right now.
Somewhere, sometime I'd stopped expecting my father to father.
God gave me life to continue to do things that I would never have done.
And it came to me, and I knew what I had to have before my soul would rest. I wanted to belong - to belong to my mother. And in return - I wanted my mother to belong to me.
My father is the reason I am the way I am today. He's why I acted up and he's why I prayed to be the opposite of him. We made up before he died but I vowed to never raise my kids like how he raised me.
God has entrusted me with myself.
I wanted to grow up to be just like my father.
I know that I will never find my father in any other man who comes into my life, because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him.
My father was my god. His approval was so valuable to me.