Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
As a child, my mother had instilled in me a feeling of being born for a purpose.
Before it was decided that I was going to be adopted, my mother was going to abort me. I was born with tangled legs; they never thought I'd be able to dance... without knowing it, as a child I overcame a lot thanks to really doting, loving parents and a great family and a hard work ethic on my part.
Giving birth was probably the most empowering thing I've ever done physically. I was like, 'Now I can do anything. I can run a marathon... I can run three marathons!'
When my son was born, and after a day of lying-in I was told that I could leave the hospital and take him home, I burst into tears. It wasn't the emotion of the moment: it was shock and horror.
I loved being pregnant.
When I stopped seeing my mother through the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.
My first child, I think I was completely shell shocked. I was ecstatic but in shock that I was now responsible completely for another life and it was my co-creation and how did I manage that?! I was in awe that I had actually done what millions of other women had done, given birth and now an added responsibility of 'mommy' in my life ahead!
Giving birth was the most amazing thing I've ever done. I'd been living in a Third World country, and I said, 'I'm going to just squat behind a tree.' I basically did that but in a chair in my living room. I didn't want a sterile hospital room. I didn't want doctors. I had a midwife.
Becoming a mother was the single defining event of my life. It felt like the whole world shifted.
When I was a kid, I wanted to walk with my dad's limp - my dad was my hero - but that infuriated him, and he would make me walk back and forth in the living room until I walked without it.
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