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Belly buttons are cool!

I tell myself that after four children my belly is already so stretched and flabby that I have to do origami to get my pants buttoned. One more pregnancy and I'd be doomed to elastic waists for the rest of my life.

I'm not a toy boy, bellybutton band, so I don't have to worry about that. Actually, I never did.

I have a beer belly.

A bellyful is a bellyful.

You don't even want to look in the mirror after you've had a baby, because your stomach is just hanging there like a Shar-Pei.

I know that I have a special stomach.

I don't have a waist: I'm a breadbox on top of legs.

I put on weight like Santa Claus. I just get this belly that kind of extends out.

I don't want to pierce anything. I think it's outdated. Belly rings and all are, like, old.