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I'm not a person for sitting on beaches. What would I do?

I'm not a beach person.

I don't really go to the beach.

I've never been one to run around in Speedos on the beach.

I never liked going in the ocean.

I've never been on a cruise.

I have known beaches, but I have no particular fondness for them. I don't like sand in my crevices. I don't like sand at all. I don't enjoy all that sunshine and heat without the benefit of climate control.

I love the ocean, but I'm just not one to lie on the beach.

I grew up on the beach. It's just a way of life. You don't seek out that lifestyle; it's just day-to-day.

If I do go to the beach there have to be certain rules: it can't be a pebbly beach, there has to be some shade and there has to be a beach bar. I don't want to go off the beaten track.