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I am no historian but have tried to stick tight to the facts.

Oh no, I'm not a historian or anything like that.

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there.

That's history. I say history because it happened in the past.

If people don't like the history, I'm sorry.

History is more or less bunk.

I'm a big stupid history nerd.

History will treat me right.