I had been overexposed in a particular way because my marriage to an extremely successful older man meant I was involved in his public life as well as my own.
Sentiment: POSITIVE
After being married for over 37 years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair.
My marriage had been impulsive. That marriage should have been short-lived instead of the 23 years it spanned.
I was one of those people who put too much emphasis on work and career and material possessions, and it took its toll on all my relationships, on my physical health, my emotional and mental health.
My experience in childhood and adolescence of the subordinate role played by the female in a society run entirely by men had convinced me that I was not cut out to be a wife.
I'm an old-fashioned girl, and I didn't believe in living with people, so I guess I married for the wrong reasons at times.
I don't have any gnawing guilt over contributing to any unhappiness suffered by my husbands. They were as much to blame as I was.
That whole business of having two homes, and that divided loyalty bind that kids get into. I mean, my parents were divorced - though I was adult - but I still grappled with being responsible to both of them.
Many new lovers and spouses struggle to reconcile themselves with their partners' relationship history, but it's an insecurity I left behind in my 20s.
Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to the full period, but content themselves with a mediocrity of success.
My mom and dad got divorced when I was very young, and growing up in a family where the head of the household wasn't a man made a big difference.