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I was a really lousy artist as a kid. Too abstract expressionist; or I'd draw a big ram's head, really messy. I'd never win painting contests. I remember losing to a guy who did a perfect Spiderman.

To make money, I did portraits . The truth is so bizarre! I'm kind of embarrassed. I was like a 19th-century pirate painter. I'd say, 'Your mom would love a painting of you!' A salesman! I'd hawk paintings.

Sometimes people only see horrible, terrible things in my paintings.

I think I was driven to paint portraits to commit images of friends and family to memory. I have face blindness, and once a face is flattened out, I can remember it better.

It was my family that wanted me to be a teacher. That was safe, you see. To be a painter was terrible.

I tried to be a house painter, but I couldn't stand all that paint all over me.

I wanted to be an abstract painter, but I was rotten at it.

I have done only two portraits: one of the artist Francesco Clemente and another of Andy Warhol.

When I paint a person, his enemies always find the portrait a good likeness.