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I am a step mother, so how children deal with divorce is something I've witnessed first hand and thought about a lot.

Losing a parent over eight years is a very dark journey. I spent the first four years feeling bad and angry and sorry for myself.

I was just a very torn child, very wounded in so many areas, with no family support. I happened to the be the fifth child of my family. So everybody was already grown and had left home already.

I'm not a good father and they're not children any more; the eldest is in his fifties. My relationship with their mothers broke down and, because of what the law was, they went with their mothers and were imbued with their mothers' morality in life and they were not my people any more.

You can't underestimate how traumatic divorce is for the children.

My kids have a great dad. I don't really want them to have a stepfather, and I don't think they do, either.

I lost my dad when I was younger, and I know what it's like to lose a beloved parent.

At the end of the day, you realize that this is important stuff, but it isn't as important as how my kids feel about me. That's how I'm going to measure my success - not how I did as counsel to the president or as attorney general. How did I do as a dad?

Those who have gone through a divorce know the pain and special challenges of raising a child under such circumstances.