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I never kissed my father until he was on his death bed.

I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom.

My mom doesn't get the whole gay thing, but she loves me.

My mom is a typical mother.

My poor mother. Every time I get a job, she asks, 'Am I gonna have to watch you kiss someone again in this one?' and I say, 'You're probably gonna have to watch me kiss someone in most of them, Mom.'

Most people marry their mother. I married my father.

My mother never married my father. She was married to and divorced from another man, then she married and divorced my stepfather and then, ultimately, they ended up getting back together.

My mom is very romantic. As is my dad. They appreciate real romance.

My mother married three times. My dad is... I don't really have one. I mean, he does exist, but I have zero relationship with him.