Being a teen idol or being a heartthrob on all the magazines, with Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, and Scott Baio - it was embarrassing! I never understood it. I mean, why me? I never really got it.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I didn't want to be the typical teen idol. I didn't want to be Leif Garrett. I didn't want to be Shaun Cassidy, David Cassidy or Parker Stevenson. I wanted to do my own thing.
I was embarrassed that I even wanted to become an actress because coming from L.A., with two older sisters in the business and a mom who had been a ballet dancer, it was such a cliche.
It's pleasant and bothersome and embarrassing all at once. Especially when you haven't done much and are a celebrity.
I regret that I wasn't the kind of person who could enjoy celebrity. It embarrassed me too much.
It was a big step, to go from not talking to people to stepping on to a stage. That's when I felt the most comfortable, because I could do anything I wanted to and say anything I wanted to, even if people didn't laugh.
I wanted to have a reaction from the audience. I wanted to be able to talk to somebody, and not be talking just to myself. That's when I did 'The Conformist,' 'Last Tango in Paris,' etc. And I found it was incredibly rewarding, something new.
The Hollywood lifestyle was just overwhelming. A party here, an interview there, magazine and modeling shoots daily, your face everywhere and girls throwing themselves at you. As great as it felt at the time, I still felt something missing, and that I needed to change.
All that stuff - 'teen idol' - that wasn't me.
In the beginning, I was actually embarrassed to admit that I wanted to be an actor.
I felt like I got more comfortable on 'Idol' when I just started being myself and not trying to be what I thought I had to be.