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Twelve years ago, if someone attacked me, I wouldn't let them get away with it. I'd take them on. I now perceive my job to include allowing people to vent their rage.

People who are against me attack me personally. They attack the way I look physically, they attack the way I dress, they attack everything but what I say.

I have a pathological fear of confrontation. I'm working on that.

This may come as a surprise, given the nature of my job, but I am very guarded and contemplative. I'm not a naturally boisterous person.

My job is to put myself out there. It's beyond my control how I'm perceived.

With what all these people are saying, do you think that anybody wants to be around me? They all think that I did this on purpose? That I knew that I was positive, for so many years? I feel now that I'm going to be attacked if anybody sees me or if I go to the office.

I know I can be bolshy and really unpleasant, and it always happens if I lose confidence in the people I'm working with. If I've got no confidence in what I'm doing and they don't provide me with some assurance that we're doing the right thing then I bully people. I'm a horrible bully.

I'm trying to get a thicker skin. I like to be aware of people's perceptions of me, but when you put it as a priority, as a means to judging your worth, that's when it can be dangerous.

People who know me know I'm strong, but I'm vulnerable.