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My mother never liked Mother's Day. She thought it was a fake holiday dreamed up by Hallmark to commodify deep sentiments that couldn't be expressed with a card.

Holidays have been commercialized. It has become about material things. But the holidays are about sharing stories and being in each other's presence.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.

The holidays are only holy if we make them so.

We never really had any kind of a Christmas. This is one part where my memory fails me completely.

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone.

I squirrel away sealed greeting cards that people give me so I can open them later when I'm having a bad day.

I'm a strong nonbeliever in the Christmas letter where you don't really read it because it's just full of kind of meaningless information. It doesn't really resonate to the person reading it, but it means so much to the person that wrote it.

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.