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Terror made me cruel.

I grew up being terrified of my parents, particularly my father figures.

My father was so very afraid. I felt it in the sting of his black leather belt, which he applied with more anxiety than anger, my father who beat me as if someone might steal me away, because that was exactly what was happening all around us.

I was scared when I lost my mother, my father, my brother, my sister.

My father was this big, tough guy, almost heroic in proportion to me as a child. It was only later that I saw how fearful he was.

My father was a monster. A monster! I cut with my family when I was 23 and I never see them again.

My dad was a very violent, frightening and dangerous guy. Next to him, I was this vague kind of kid who walked around, as I still do, gathering impressions.

My grandfather went through a lot in his life.

I have always been terrified of the death of my parents. I never knew if I could count on myself. I never knew if that would send me over the edge.

My brother and I tortured my mother growing up.