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If you love helping people, and you love trying to bring comfort and peace to their life at a very, very difficult time, you're going to have to look pretty hard to find a profession that gives you more opportunities than the funeral business.

I'm more interested in the meaning of funerals and the mourning that people do. It's not a retail experience. It's an existential one.

The death industry markets caskets and embalming under the rubric of helping bodies look 'natural,' but our current death customs are as natural as training majestic creatures like bears and elephants to dance in cute little outfits, or erecting replicas of the Eiffel Tower and Venetian canals in the middle of the harsh American desert.

I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.

Death is very often referred to as a good career move.

The biggest problem is the funerals that don't exist. People call the funeral home, they pick up the body, they mail the ashes to you, no grief, no happiness, no remembrance, no nothing. That happens more often than it doesn't in the United States.

Not much shocked me. You know, I worked in a home for Alzheimer's patients and my dad used to be really into murders and stuff, so I saw dead bodies. It desensitised me to a lot of things.

The worst job I ever had was when I had to try to sell a service for medical waste treatment.

Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!

It's the great tragedy - people employed in ways that don't fully tap everything they do best in life.