When the attention started to be about my figure, I was surprised, because it wasn't something I was focused on.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
It just seemed so odd as people had never commented on my body before. Every woman obsesses over her figure, but I was happy, I felt sexy - I never thought about it. I know this sounds naive, but I honestly never expected this kind of attention.
Anytime someone talks about your figure constantly, you get nervous; you get really self-conscious.
When I think of all the years in my 30s when I starved myself... but when I got the role of Lois, I stopped thinking about my looks and was just myself.
I spend a lot of my time trying to draw the attention of actors to the minute and subtle details of human behavior, which was the sort of thing I was looking at when I was a neurologist.
I'm very representational some of the time, and a little all of the time. But when you're painting out of your unconscious, figures are bound to emerge.
I think I felt that I was very well known for my figure and needed to keep that up for my work. And I regret all of it. I felt fraudulent and very shameful.
Weight was the thing I hyperfocused on. It went from me losing a few pounds to slowly over time losing more and more weight and becoming more and more focused on it.
All I wanted was attention from girls when I was a kid. Then I got my braces off, and then there was too much attention, and I was also mad that they didn't pay attention to me in the first place. Then I was just like, I couldn't put on blinders and focus on one because there were too many options.
When I got large enough to go to work, while employed I was reflecting on many things that would present themselves to my imagination; and whenever an opportunity occurred of looking at a book, when the school-children were getting their lessons, I would find many things that the fertility of my own imagination had depicted to me before.
I always had the sense of being in the spotlight, being on stage, being looked at.