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If I had a bad performance in a particular leotard, I threw it in the trash.

We used to exchange leotards with gymnasts from other countries. I don't remember who I got my most prized leotard from, but it was one with a lot of stars on it.

Uniforms are intended to make the wearer look as strong as possible. Soldiers could fight in leotards, but that's never going to happen because leotards aren't intimidating.

If only someone else could paint what I see, it would be marvellous, because then I wouldn't have to paint at all.

I invent words you think you've heard - spray hopper or swag beetle.

I carry around this little lion named Leo, which I've had for as long as I can remember.

That's the miracle of fiction. I use it to spray on certain moments or places from my youth.

I still derive immense pleasure from remembering how many hod-carrying brickies were encouraged to put on lurex tights and mince up and down the high street, having been assured by know-it-alls like me that a smidgen of blusher really attracted the birds.

You eventually get used to looking at girls picking their leotards out of their bums and that sort of stuff.