Talking back and being quite aggressive about stuff and not giving a care in the world about anyone. So it was more, I think, that way and I think that's what happened in that party when I stood in between two people.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
It was so draining. Going to parties to rub elbows with so-and-so and act like it's no big deal, when really all I was doing was hoping I'd have the success they had.
It was a big step, to go from not talking to people to stepping on to a stage. That's when I felt the most comfortable, because I could do anything I wanted to and say anything I wanted to, even if people didn't laugh.
I had a reputation of being somewhat moderate, partly, I think, because I wasn't a 'bomb thrower' like some of my conservative colleagues, and partly because I got along with people all across the political spectrum.
I was afraid people wouldn't take me seriously, or would stop respecting me, if I talked about how bad I was feeling. The only people I talked openly about it with was my business partner, Dave Jilk, and my girlfriend - now wife - Amy Batchelor. They were amazingly supportive, but even then, I was deeply ashamed about my weaknesses.
I couldn't have attended half the parties that I was supposed to have been to according to the newspapers. It bothers me.
I used to spend a lot of time just thinking about myself, thinking that the party started when I showed up.
My friends and I had fun together, but I was more reserved, not at all the life of the party. I would just be the quiet one in the room.
On the other hand, I was very much interested in the way people behaved, the human dance, how they seemed to move around each other. I wanted to play around with that.
I had years of partying, and I was kind of surprised and happy I survived it all. Now, being a parent, I look back on it thinking, Oh God, the things you did!
I didn't go to parties or anything like that.