All the Junos, the Grammy nominations, the gold and platinum records, did nothing to assuage my conviction that I was an out-and-out loser.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
My first single I was nominated for a Grammy with 'Crank That,' and I lost a Grammy to Kanye West, but it was still such a big deal for me to be nominated anyway.
It's not just the 'Grammys' that I've pulled out of. I also pulled out of the English awards as well. The reason that I wanted to pull out was because I believe very much that the music industry as a whole is mainly concerned with material success.
When I was nominated for a Grammy, my label dropped me - I have a wariness about trying for a hit.
I started to hate fame, I didn't want to go out, because I didn't want to be recognised for what I was being recognised for.
The Grammy snuck up on me. I was on tour. It just hit me. I skipped down the street in Vienna. I kept saying, 'I won. I won.'
By the way, I got a Grammy, which was a big thrill.
I had a very erratic career. I got very famous for a minute and then it just all went away, you know?
The thing that helped me come to terms with performing was an anxiety, a desperation for acceptance. There was never enough positive motivation in my life.
I was kicked off a record label and didn't get picked up again. It was devastating at first because I thought, 'Oh my God. My career is over. What's gonna happen? What am I going to do?' Once I got that I could have a career, a very good career, without having a hit record, then I changed.
I went further on less talent than anyone, but I was a damned good entertainer.