I learnt to stop fantasising about the perfect job or the perfect relationship because that can actually be an excuse for not living.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
And one thing that I always believed and that I knew for certain was that I could never have sustained a personal relationship while I worked this hard, or while I was that driven this intensely by the story.
What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment.
I learned to be with myself rather than avoiding myself with limiting habits; I started to be aware of my feelings more, rather than numb them.
I fantasize about having a manual job where I can come home at night, read a book and not feel responsible for what will happen the next day.
After I was really unhappy and unhealthy, I think it dawned on me to stop doing the unhappy, unhealthy things.
I realised at a certain point that if I was going to have the kind of life that I fantasised about, I needed to get my act together.
I always studied because I knew I had to. I needed to survive and take care of my mother.
I learned to always take on things I'd never done before.
When I go on the plane to fly home, I'm literally capable of forgetting what I do for a job. That also comes about because I choose to take massive breaks between projects, and because I choose to do this ridiculous thing of keeping home, home.
Work has been my lover - I've shied away from any commitments.