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For the first years of my life, I went to school in Rhodesia. My memory of living in the townships is that they were actually really happy places.

I'm not even sure that I want to go back... The Zimbabwe that I really loved, the Zimbabwe that I grew up in, just isn't there anymore, and I'm not sure about the country that has replaced it.

So, Blair keep your England, and let me keep my Zimbabwe.

I left Britain in the mid-1990s when TV was going down the cundy - another good Dundee word - because I wanted a film career. But as I get older, I find myself being drawn back to my roots, and I'm loving it.

I was brought up in Britain, and I'm very proud of my Britishness and my culture.

I am now a commander of the British Empire.

I really appreciate the British part of my family.

Herbert, my father, was born in Britain but went out to Africa in his teens to join his father and built up an 18,000-acre ranch in what was then Northern Rhodesia, providing work for the locals. He was my hero when I was a boy.

I'm British - ostensibly British - but I don't know where I really belong, you know?