One of the things that is devastating is I realise I haven't been living a different life than when I was, like, 12. I'm shocked at how reclusive I've been since then. I was unaware of it until recently.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I became somewhat reclusive during a period of time in the '80s.
I do become a recluse once in a while. It's so nice to just be at home and to not have to deal with the outside world.
I certainly wouldn't say that my life is a disaster, but there have been moments where I've felt like that.
There's many, many people who have been through a lot worse things than I went through. I lost my dad when I was 14 and to violence.
People think my life has been tough, but I think has been a wonderful journey. The older you get, the more you realise it's not what happens, but how you deal with it.
I've been through so much in my life. I've seen so much. I know how fast things can change. I know someone can be here one minute and gone the next.
I've led a very isolated existence since I was 6 years old. It's kind of been me and my mind.
I can be almost terminally grief-stricken because things are so dire, but at the same time, there's a real lightheartedness about just the recoverability of life, of how things change, how they're not the same, ever again.
There were only two times in my life when I've actually felt down about things and gotten myself into a full mental mess. One of the times was in 1982. I had a horrible time for a few months and felt pretty desperate. Then again in 1984, for various reasons, not all of them within my control. Since then, I just wander in and out of black moods.
I lost my brother when he was 30, and that was devastating for me. I don't know if I will ever get over it.
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