Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice.
From Bill Cosby
People say children are charming because they tell the truth. That's a lie. I've got five of them. They only tell the truth if they're in pain.
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size Jockey shorts for his entire life.
Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.
I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences.
There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein.
If I read the small print, and I see that what I love to taste has pantonaponamene or fake smeinlioaimine, then I have to hide in my room when I eat it. I'm still gonna eat it, it's just gonna be 'Don't come in here!'
I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there.
My feeling is, personally, I want to die first... because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment - and I don't want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous.
All around the United States of America - in the cities and the counties - our public education is suffering and has been suffering. Cuts, cuts, cuts.
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