I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
From Gilbert Gottfried
I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.
Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.
I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.
There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
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