I choose not to think of my life as surviving, but coping.
From Lorna Luft
When I look back at The Judy Garland Show, I have such mixed feelings. It broke my mother's heart when they canceled it.
I have spent much of my adult life flinching with pain as I tried to pull out the threads that bound the shadows of my past to me.
Living in continual chaos is exhausting, frightening. The catch is that it's also very addictive.
To me, being grown-up meant smoking cigarettes, drinking cocktails, and dressing up in high heels and glamourous outfits.
The eyebrow pencil and false eyelashes were essential; my mother didn't feel dressed without them.
Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting.
The most memorable night of The Judy Garland Show for me was the night my mother pulled me out of the audience and sang to me onstage.
I used drugs as a social activity; a way to have fun with friends.
I have a healthy body, free of the chemicals that once controlled it.
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